How to Get Toned Arms like Bollywood Actress

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  Bollywoodshaadis.com - How to Get Toned Arms like Bollywood Celebs

How to take care of skin, hair and weight are among the most discussed topics everywhere. And, who better than Bollywood stars to take inspiration from? Girls dream of having toned legs like Deepika Padukone and a flat tummy like Shilpa Shetty, and many even workout towards that. But very rarely does anyone talk about slogging to get those celebrity-like toned arms.

Apart from the face, another place where signs of ageing are very evident, are the arms. Supple and firm arms give a young and fit look. Also, if you love to wear sleeveless or strapless outfits a lot, then you definitely would not want to be conscious about having flabby arms. If you are one of those who envy Bollywood divas for having the perfect arms, but never really know how to get them, you are on the right page! Here, we reveal the secrets behind well-toned, taut and sleeveless-friendly arms.

Triceps Kickbacks

This is the most-recommended and popular arm-shaping exercise, and quite easy to do.

Image Courtesy: Oxegenmag.com

• Pick a dumbbell weighing around 1-2 kg (or even a 1-2 litre water bottle).
• Stand with your feet parted, as wide as your shoulders.
• Bend forward, so that your back is parallel to the ground.
• Hold the dumbbells under your shoulder, just at the side of your chest.
• Suck-in your stomach and pull away the weight behind you, until your upper arm seems parallel to the ground.
• Slowly, bring the dumbbells back to the starting position.
• This is one complete repetition or “rep” as it is commonly called. Do three sets of 15 reps, three times a week to see results.

Best for: Shaping and toning shoulders and triceps, where the wobbly flab appears.

by Sophia Porotsky

Who says you need fancy equipment to get a solid strength workout? Whether you're traveling, can't make it to the gym, or simply prefer to exercise at home, mixing and matching the following 25body weight exercisesprovides an all-around full body workout-no equipment required. A combination ofcardio, strengthening, and toning exercises are sure to make you break a sweat and get those endorphins going no matter where you are.

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Shoulder Press

Another easy exercise and one of the most popular ones, shoulder press give great results when done right.

• Grab a pair of 1-2 kg dumbbells.
• Stand straight with your legs parted the same way as for triceps kickbacks.
• Hold each dumbbell in your arm with your palms facing front.
• Lift both arms at shoulder level, hold for 2-3 seconds, and then raise them above your head.
• Avoid giving jerks. Bring back to the shoulder level, and repeat.
• Do three sets of 15 reps, three times a week for best results.

Best for: Toning and firming arms and shoulders.

 

Inverted Row

This is another exercise to tone-up flabby triceps and bulky shoulders. If done right and regularly, it guarantees great results.

Image Courtesy: Womenshealthmag.com

• Lie down flat under a firmly positioned rod/bar. This is easily available in the gym. Else, you can use the bar below your bed, or tie a strong and thick nylon rope at two ends in your room. Just make sure that it is very strong and tightly tied.
• Bend your knees to 90 degrees, keeping your feet on the floor.
• Hold the bar/rope, and lift yourself up slowly while breathing in, till your chest almost touches it.
• Slowly go back to the original position while breathing out.
• Do three sets of 15 reps, twice a week.

All content & source from:- https://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/toned-arms-bollywood-celebs-124514666.html

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7 Beauty Tips For Women

Every woman dreams of having supple, baby-soft skin, and is ready to go to any extent to achieve the desired results. Expensive treatments at beauty salons, high-end cosmetics and so much more goes into it!

But you will be amazed to know that the easiest trick to get baby-soft skin is using baby products! Surprised? Well, don’t be! Baby products are hypo-allergic and free of harsh chemicals, and therefore are the best for any skin type. Take a look at seven easily-available baby products that can work wonders for your skin.

1. Baby Oil: Eye makeup remover

If you wear makeup regularly, you might be aware of how difficult it is to get rid of it from delicate areas like the eyes. You will be surprised to know that baby oil can gently help you remove eye makeup, without causing any irritation. What’s more? Since it is rich in mineral oils, and does not clog pores, you can safely use it as your post-bath moisturiser, for guaranteed baby-soft skin.

Recommended Read: Best Ways to Remove Eye Makeup

2. Baby Lotion: Protector against skin irritation

Tired of using body lotions that are either too greasy or don’t hydrate enough? Then the sweet smelling lotions in the baby-section come to your rescue. Baby lotions are one of the best options you can have for soft and smooth skin that is not sticky or greasy. Moreover, they form a protective layer on the skin guarding it against irritation and dryness.

3. Baby Powder: Easiest dry shampoo

Did you know that you can use baby powder to fix your makeup? To have a grease-free look, simply dab a tiny amount on your face and neck after wearing foundation. You can pat a little amount before applying your eyeshadow for a smoother and longer-lasting effect. Here's another one that will surprise you- you can sprinkle some baby powder on your greasy hair, when you don't have time to shampoo, to have a smooth, freshly-shampooed, oil-free look!

4. Baby Wipes: Quickest makeup remover

The best use for baby wipes is that they can be used as an express makeup remover! That apart, they are also great to wipe your face and neck on a hot summer day to feel fresh instantly.

5. Diaper Rash Cream: Intensive lip balm

Apart from keeping your skin supple, it is a great remedy for extra-sensitive and rash-prone skin. You can even use it in the winters for those soft and smooth lips.

6. Baby Wash or Baby Soap: Cleansing foot soak

If you have failed to discover the perfect face wash for your dry or sensitive skin, then you must try baby washes or baby soaps. Very mild in composition and gentle on skin, it is a perfect solution for the sensitive skin problems. You can also use it as hand wash, or mix it with warm water to soak your tired feet.

7. Baby Shampoo: Safest daily hair cleanser

During the summer months, greasy and limp hair is a common complaint. Frequent shampooing can strip away the hair from natural oils, leaving it dull and brittle. Switch your regular shampoo with a baby shampoo, and you would complain no more. Being much milder than other shampoos, baby shampoos do not wash away the natural oils from hair while cleaning it. Since they are free of harsh chemicals, you can use them more frequently than your regular ones.

Source by:-https://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/7-baby-products-amazing-beauty-benefits-114006030.html

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10 Things Every Woman Should Have in Her Purse

If being prepared for anything is your mantra, then you know that your purse is the vehicle by which you live your life – far more than just a place to stash your cash and keys. Whether you believe in toting half the house, or you like to keep it light and simple, there are ten essentials that all ladies must have in their purses at all times. Let’s take a look at those must-haves so that you will be ready for anything that life throws your way.

1. Lipstick

As any woman knows, a dash of lipstick can perk up even the worst case of the blues, and having your favorite shade within reach is imperative to keeping you looking your best. Lipstick works to create a beautiful focal point on the face – so even if you don’t have time to put on a complete face of makeup each morning, lipstick will still make you look glamorous and put-together.

2. Mad money

The emphasis here is on money, not plastic. Mothers used to give their daughters “mad money”when they went out on a date, just in case the guy ended up to be Mr. Totally Wrong. Mother was wise to do so; there are many instances that may arise when you will need cash in hand, not a debit or credit card, so keep at least twenty bucks in cash safely stored away in your purse.

3. Tampons or pads

Let’s face it ladies; we never know when Mother Nature will come calling. Be discreetly prepared to face her head on with a small supply of feminine protection.

4. Baby wipes

Whether or not you have little ones, baby wipes come in handy in so many situations – none of which you will be able to think about until the time arises that you need one or two.

5. Aspirin or Tylenol

How many times have you been out of the house and taken a headache? If you are human, chances are you have often wished for a bit of pain relief on the road. Stay prepared by always keeping a few aspirin, Tylenol, or other pain remedy at hand.

6. A pen

While it may seem like commonsense, when faced with the prospect of needing a pen or pencil, many women dig and dig through their massive purses only to come up with a fairly good substitute: an eyeliner. Keep a few pens in your purse and you won’t end up giving someone your number with a Cover Girl Slick Stick.

7. Emergency contact info

Again, a commonsense thing to carry with you (right alongside your identification) is emergency contact information; this will come in handy if you are mistaken as a terrorist, locked in solitary confinement, and someone has to come in to vouch for your identity. In all seriousness, emergency contact info is crucial if you are (heaven forbid) involved in an accident and unable to speak for yourself.

8. Mace or pepper spray

The day and age in which we live dictates that all women must carry some form of protection, and Mace or pepper spray fit the bill. This modern “weapon” is non-lethal but very effective in stopping bad guys in their tracks.

9. Hand sanitizer

Every time when you are at the grocery store you grab a cart that has been used many times and never wiped down. You count out money or meet someone new and shake their hand. For these and many other reasons, you should always have hand sanitizer in your purse. It will help protect you as well as anybody you come into contact with from spreading those terrible germs.

10. Lighter or matches

Okay, you don’t smoke and you don’t carry a lighter because you think that you’ll never need it. Trust me, I don’t smoke but I always carry a lighter or matches for emergency purposes, such as burning off stray threads on clothes, and lighting candles on cake. Moreover, if you’re ever stranded in the wilderness and need to light a fire, you will be well prepared! So make sure you always have a lighter or matches in your purse!

So remember, an ounce of prevention truly is worth a pound of cure. Pack your purse with these ten essentials and you can feel a bit safer and more secure when you are out and about.

All content from:- http://en.amerikanki.com/things-every-woman-should-have-in-her-purse

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Important Medical Test For Women

Image courtesy: © Thinkstock photos/ Getty Images

Your mom always ran to the doctor when you had that terrible bout of flu or frantically rang him up when you got those chills. Maybe it's time to reciprocate that love and care. Take care of something she would never thought of doing herself or has not been paying attention. Plan some health check- ups for her. And while you do that, here’s what you’ll need to keep in mind.

In her 40’s
A woman in her 40’s might be on the brink of an early menopause. This is also an age when early osteoporosis can strike. So, it is a good idea to get a test done for vitamin D and B12. “A woman in her forties should also start having calcium supplements,” says Dr Vimal Pahuja, a Mumbai-based general physician. Additional tests he recommends are testing their blood sugar levels and a lipid profile test (test for cholesterol and triglyceride levels).

In her 50’s
Apart from keeping a check on their lipid profile and blood sugar levels, it is important to get a bone density test done. Dr Gaurav Gupta, a Mumbai-based general physician recommends the dexa scan (to measure bone density). He also recommends a sonography to check the uterus. “It is important to keep a tab of the blood pressure too,” he says.

In her 60’s
“Get checked for early osteoporosis and early arthritis,” says Dr Pahuja. It is not necessary to follow up on mammograms or pap smear tests, he says. Apart from that ensure a healthy diet that includes lots of fruits and vegetables. Include exercises like walking in your routine. “Swim only if you have been doing it regularly once you have ruled out any risks like heart disease,” says Dr Gupta.

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In her 70’s
This is an age where women could face problems like constipation or be depressed. “Sub-clinical hypo-thyrodism could be the cause,” says Dr Pahuja. So, it is a good idea to get a thyroid test done. He also recommends to get a stress test done and go for a echo-cardiogram.

Book an appointment with the doctor right away and treat your Mom to a lifetime of good health.

All Content with images from:-https://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/must-medical-tests-moms-033000344.html 

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How to Talk About Sex to Your Teenage Son

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While information about sexual behaviour and crimes inundates our homes thanks to a vibrant media culture, often, explanation behind their incidence is inaccurate. What can be worse than a Haryana khap panchayat leader blaming an increase in the consumption of fast food, including chowmein, for the higher incidence of rape? 
    
And in a country that’s repeatedly opposed sex education in schools, it’s only myths that make their way into the Indian adolescent’s mind. Global research on how adolescent boys acquire information regarding sex makes things grimmer. Experts say your teenage son is more likely to turn to online porn sites — making it his greatest single source of information on sex and relationships — instead of you, for answers. 
    
“Most boys believe they already know enough about sex, based on whatever little they have absorbed through media messages. Sex for them is about the physical, the anatomy; they think they are entitled to use it anytime, with anyone. The rest of it is all moral rubbish,” says Mumbai-based psychiatrist andsex consultant Dr Rajiv Anand. 
    
With the media telling them what it takes to be a ‘real’ man, boys are far more pressurised than girls to conform to a stereotype — to fit the know-all, super-masculine prototype. 
    
Psychologist Janki Mehta says unlike girls, boys are reluctant to discuss sex in a formal setting, preferring to rely on Google and random conversations. “That’s dangerous, especially if the person on the opposite end isn’t an expert.” 
    
The solution? Sex education, of course. 
But child psychologists are now discussing the ineffectiveness of a sexual behaviour chat in a mixed gender setting, since boys have spoken of how sessions only elaborate on female reproduction, and are thus ‘girl-oriented’. Focusing predominantly on the negative aspects of sex, whether it’s STDs or unwanted pregnancy, makes them turn to other sources. A sex-positive chat that touches on its function of pleasure could help if we don’t want young boys to switch off. 
    
Sex education, whether formal or assuming the form of an informal chat between parents and kids, must go beyond organ awareness, suggests Dr Harish Shetty, senior psychiatrist with Hiranandani Hospital. “Boys see the expression of their sexuality as macho. Some experimentation is okay, but they need guidance on how to behave around girls, and handle their sexual feelings.” 
    
That there is far more pressure among boys to break into the sexually active world, makes it imperative that parents and experts help them channelise their energies, and be accountable for their actions. “It’s old-world but it would help to tell them that ‘true love waits’; it’s better to meet a girl under the sky than in a locked room,” says Dr Shetty. 

At what age? 
Mehta says there is often disagreement between educationists, psychologists and parents about what age to broach a talk about sexual behaviour at. The earlier you start, the better, believes Mehta. “First, instruct them about safety and sexual abuse — it’s okay if someone touches you here, but not okay if it’s done there.” Move on to differences between boys and girls, changes in their bodies when they reach puberty. Older kids can be drawn into a conversation about safe sexual practices, whether it’s contraception or family planning, she says. 
    
Naina Athale, a child counsellor and social worker who has helmed sex education sessions across schools in India, stresses on age and culture-specific modules. 
    
Dr Shetty says sex educators at schools must ideally hold a postgraduate in psychology or social work. But parents, especiallyfathers, play a pivotal role in shaping a male child’s attitude towards sex. “A school-cum-home approach works best,” says Athale. 
    
Experts suggest that parents jog their memory to recollect their own experience when growing up, and be ready to answer questions about their bodies, body image issues, curiosity over girls, the art of differentiating feelings of love and lust, masturbation and penis size myths, fertility, how to use a condom, etc. 
    
“At home, sex education kicks off when your child points to his privates and asks ‘What is this?’ From then on, carefully share age-specific information with him as honestly as you can,” suggests Athale.

Gender-suitable chats 
While mixed gender chats are important if men and women are to learn and be sensitive towards each other, some issues are best discussed in single sex chats. For instance, when discussing porn, it’s fine to let girls know that porn is not necessarily disgusting. To boys, you’d have to get across the message that it’s fine to be drawn to it, but they must remember it’s a fantasy world and shouldn’t be treated as a reference for what a ‘perfect’ relationship is. Focussing on girls alone, as formal sessions in schools tend to do, make boys feel powerless to take responsibility for their behaviour. That’s how relationships end up evolving then. Healthy relationships are about two people participating equally, negotiating wants, and respecting each other.

5-fold route to talking sex
"Be open. If you are inhibited yourself, it won’t work. You must know the answers to possible questions your kid will throw at you. Do your research online or via experts. Remember, just because your kids may have opened up about ‘liking’ a friend of the same sex in their teens or childhood, it doesn’t mean they are gay. Explain the consequences of sexual behaviour in subtle ways. Refresh the learnings every few months," says Janki Mehta.

All content & title from:-http://idiva.com/news-relationships/how-to-talk-about-sex-to-your-teenage-son/16995

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Yami Gautam's guide to gorgeous hair

Yami Gupta - Beyond just hair care products, the actor recommends home-made hair packs and a balanced diet. Vo …

"While I was in Chandigarh my hair quality was much better," rues actor Yami Gautam, "But when I shifted base to Mumbai, I saw a drastic change in the quality of my hair. I noticed that it started to fall."

Turned out, the city's water was to blame. Now, the actor swears by Pantene's 14-day challenge -- "I could notice a difference on my pillow, in my towel and on my hair brush almost immediately" -- but that's not all she relies on to keep her tresses in shape.  

Basic hair care

"I like to keep it simple and not apply a whole lot of products," says Gautam. "I feel, even if someone is blessed with good hair, one needs to follow the basic hair care regime and that means investing in the correct shampoo, conditioner and mask."

Eggs whites, olive oil

Her weekly kitchen indulgence to maintain her glossy hair texture: "I use egg whites and an olive oil-based hair mask that deep-conditions the hair, and adds incredible shine."

"I've also started using yoghurt in my hair," she adds. "It's something I've picked up from my mother who has beautiful hair."

No bingeing

"I believe in nourishment and having a balanced diet," she says. "I avoid bingeing and try and eat healthy, especially lots of amla, and drink lots and lots of water."

Fishtail fixes

"I generally like to wear my hair down, preferably with soft curls. But when I'm having a bad hair day, I like to wear my hair in French brands or fishtail braids," she says.

And if it still doesn't behave?

"I swear by my System Professional Perfect Hold Finishing Spray, which not only revitalizes my hair, but also gives me the assurance to step out with confidence," says the actor.

- Jerusha Ratnam Chande

Source:- https://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/yami-gautams-guide-gorgeous-hair-100156496.html 

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5 worst makeup mistakes women

Every girl is crazed in her quest for beauty almost on a daily basis. Whether it is a regular day at office or an evening out with friends, whether it is planning for her wedding or hosting a party at home, looking absolutely impeccable is a necessity, and quite expected too! But, in the pursuit of perfection, there are some common beauty blunders that might take place. Here are the five most common ones that you can easily avoid. Read on to know how.

Dry Paint!

Nothing can be worse than applying foundation or dabbing compact powder on a dry face! You might make this mistake when in a hurry. However, no matter how little time you have, do not wear any makeup unless you have moisturised your face well. Makeup on dry skin becomes patchy very quickly, and the outcome can be quite a disaster. To get rid of dry, flaky skin, make sure you exfoliate your face and neck twice a week to get a smooth complexion.

Foundation Much!

Applying foundation lighter than the original skin tone, or wearing multiple layers of foundation (in an attempt to look fairer), can actually make you look ghostly! Firstly, choose a shade that is closest to your skin tone, blend it well on a well-moisturised face and neck, and then pat with loose powder that matches the shades of the foundation. If you miss the neck, the outcome will be a bigger blunder! 

An "Eyesore"!

It is true that the correct eye makeup can accentuate any look quickly. But going a little overboard can leave you looking like a calamity! Make sure to dab concealor lightly, and blend it well with the base colour to hide your dark circles. Avoid very bright and colourful eyeshadows as they can look neon in pictures. Frosty shades like pink and blue can make your eyes look puffy at times. Keep your eye makeup as natural as possible for the day; you can add a little shimmer or smokey effect for an evening function.

Lips Gone Wild!

Choosing lip colours that are in vogue, without checking if they really match your skin tone or not, is a very bad idea. Wearing a lip liner that is darker than your lipstick can result in the most awkward look. Also, colours that appear too matte, giving a super dry look to the lips, are also a big no. Make sure you try on many shades before the event to get a perfect one.

Glitter!

No glitter please, unless you are a 12-year-old or a supermodel walking on the ramp! Don’t confuse glitter with shimmer, because wearing makeup with a little shimmer can in fact look great if done right. But make sure you use it sparingly, and not all over the face. Shimmery eyes, shiny lip-gloss with sparkly cheeks- everything together doesn’t work, even if it is an evening do!

Don't Miss: How to Do Long Lasting Party Makeup

Keep these simple pointers in mind while dressing up for your next big event, and we are sure you won't go wrong.

Source by https://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/5-worst-makeup-mistakes-women-070000079.html

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A Real-Life Account Of A Family That Adopted From Within (Read & Think)

Hello Friends

For nine months, the family had waited excitedly for my sister's arrival. As the ninth month drew to an end, my mum couldn't wait for the labour pains to begin. Except it wasn't she who was going into labour. It was my aunt, her brother's wife, who was delivering. My parents were adopting from within the family. And, as fate would have it, my ‘sister' turned out to be a red-faced, kicking and screaming little boy. 

Predictably, the decision had raised many eyebrows. Most people couldn't understand why my parents would want to adopt a daughter, considering they already had two. I won't go into the reasons, they're not important in this context. But my parents' mind was made up. And I was ecstatic. Because I was finally going to have a little girl to push around the way my sister had pushed me around! That didn't happen, but I was still ecstatic about the addition to our little family. 

Tense moments

But that's just one part of the story. The other, less pleasant part was the underlying tension between the two sets of parents. The first time it made its presence felt during my brother's naming ceremony. My mother suggested a name, my aunt hated it. Nonetheless, my mother went ahead and named my brother Krishna*. And then got the adoption deed drawn up. That raised many eyebrows and provided fodder for whispered gossip. But my mother was adamant: this was her baby and she was calling the shots. For a while, the decision may have made mum the b**** in her family, but it set boundaries. And they've made my brother's life a whole lot easier. 

According to Mumbai-based psychologist Kanchan Bhatia, my mother's decision was the right one. "Very often, when a couple adopts from within the family, the adoptive parents are wary of asserting their right over the child. In the long run, this does more harm than good to the child. It's important for the child to recognise one set of parents as his own. It gives him the feeling of security and belonging."

Who do I belong to?

Who he belonged to was never a question in my brother's mind. He was, without a doubt, my mother's prince. Mum was mum and 'maami' was 'maami'. None of the 'badi mummy' and 'choti mummy' business in our family. She was most certainly not going to share her child with anyone. "And why should she?" asks Kanchan. "Do biological kids go about calling five different women ‘mummy'? Then why should adoptive kids do it? Besides, it isn't fair to the biological mother. It might make her feel important and involved initially, but eventually, it's important that the umbilical cord be severed. Otherwise she's going to keep thinking of the baby as her child, which will invariably cause strain within the family." 

Hammering in the message

For the first three years of my brother's life, my mother's relationship with her brother and sister-in-law was precarious, to put it mildly. Expensive presents were returned with a polite but pointed, ‘Thanks, but we can't accept this' card and my mother didn't shy away from reprimanding Krishna for improper behaviour in front of our maami, in spite of her displeasure being written all over her face. Mum's logic: it was her job to discipline her children, regardless of what the others thought. 

As time passed by, my aunt's relationship with mum and Krishna stabilised. She will always be very fond of him, more so than all her other nieces and nephews, but she's no longer trying to be his other mother. The expensive presents, preferential treatment and the proprietary attitude have stopped. And the friendship between my mum and my aunt is off the tightrope and back on solid ground. All because mum wasn't afraid to be the b**** for her baby.

Source by:-http://www.yowoto.com/posts/a-real-life-account-of-a-family-that-adopted-from-within

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I’m The Mom Who Taught Her Son The 3 Magical Words: “I Will Tell”

Hello Friends

The constant whine in the Manral household these days is not “I am so bored” (which, I must admit, comes a close second in the whine-on-a-loop stakes, given that summer vacation is going on and the offspring can do only so much of playing-on-PS3, TV-watching and playing with his friends), but is, in fact, “XYZ’s mudder allows him...”

If it’s not XYZ’s mother, it’s ABC’s mother. In fact, going by what The Brat says, all the mothers of all his friends are wonderfully laidback mums who allow things I’m being prune-faced about, including night stays, going off to malls on their own, and such like. But, no.  I’ll stick to being prune-faced. The boy is only 10. I’m not comfortable with him staying overnight at the homes of friends I don’t know well. Or for that matter, even at homes where I know the friends well. I am not okay with him going to malls without me, his father, or his grandmothers accompanying him. Even if he insists that I follow at a 2-feet distance, in the event that his friends happen to be lurking around pillars and will report back to all, that he was, imagine the horror, accompanied by a responsible adult.

Okay, you are allowed to call me a paranoid mom, and snort behind my back about helicopter parenting and how it will rear up and bite me on my rather substantial butt in a few years’ time. But, I’ve started an initiative, with a team of wonderful women, called the Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month, which is a social media initiative that tries to alert people about the real and present danger of child sexual abuse (CSA) lurking around the corner.

I won’t get into statistics in great detail here, but let’s just say they aren’t very promising. Official figures from a survey done by the Ministry of Women and Children in 2007, put an estimate at 53%. Translated, that is over half of our children admitting to being victims of CSA. Boys and girls. Moreover, in more than half of the cases, perpetrators are someone the child knows and someone who has regular, unimpeded access to the child. Basically, someone the child trusts. And not all children will talk about it, or come tell us, their parents, about what has happened to them.

They have their reasons for not telling—fear of the abuser, fear of social stigma, and the most common, fear of not being believed. We can only imagine what the actual figures are. All I know is that when I speak to women—across SECs, age groups and cities—not a single one not have a story from her childhood. The men, they don’t talk.  Men in our society are not equipped to discuss vulnerability. I am bringing up a manling. I hope I teach him that it is okay to admit to being vulnerable, that he can always come to me with anything that is troubling him.

God knows, I’m a paranoid enough mother to begin with. I am the mother who walked barefoot through the house to check for any residual shards after a glass broke. I’m the one who used a thermometer to test the temperature of the milk before the bottle reached the wailing baby mouth. I’ve also, sadly, morphed into the mother who exemplifies benign neglect, the one who now sits with eyes glued to books, informing the offspring in no uncertain terms that she is to be called only if blood is spilt.

I’m the mother who ensured she taught the boy the names for private parts of his body as he acquired language, who told him that these parts of his body were off-limits for everyone, which in turn led to an emergency when he was only 3 and staying for the day at my mother’s house, and had to be convinced over the telephone, while I was in the midst of an important conference with many beady eyes glaring at me as I left the table, that Nanna (as he calls my mother), was allowed to wash his bum. “Bud Yu Tole Me No One Must Touch My Bum,” he squawked into the mobile phone, still perched on the pot, defiantly resisting an exhausted grandma who was just trying to clean him up. If nothing else, I told myself, when I finally explained to him that Nanna was amongst those allowed to wash his bum, he had at least grasped what I was trying to teach him. Could I now breathe easy? No. As a parent, I don’t think I could ever breathe easy.

And no, it is never too early to start. Teach a child the names for their private parts, in a matter-of-fact way, like you would teach them the names for any other body parts. Teach them the concept of personal space and boundaries. Teach them the 3 magic words—“Stop”, “No”, “I will tell”. No, make that 5. I was always bad at math. Explain to them that their body is precious and no one has the right to touch without permission. Teach them the difference between a safe touch and an unsafe touch, and how, while an unsafe touch can feel good, it’s still unsafe. I still remember an interview I read of a convicted paedophile in the US, taken while he was serving out his term. He said, “Give me a child who knows nothing about sex and you’ve given me my next victim.”

You don’t need to teach your child about sex. All you need to do is to equip him or her with enough age-appropriate knowledge. Think of it as teaching about basic safety rules.

As I do the CSA Awareness month every year, I realise this will never end. But what is heartening is the fact that people are talking about CSA, people are accepting that we have a problem, and that we need to do what we can to keep our children safe. And no longer is CSA the stigma it used to be. We owe it to our children. We owe it to the children we were.

source by:-http://www.yowoto.com/posts/im-the-mom-who-taught-her-son-the-3-magical-words-i-will-tell 

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